interlude ( why is he so damn angry )

It starts with denial, it always does.

I’m talking about the grieving process…  It starts with denial.

Okay… there are big issues, like our mortality.   There are small issues, the little disappointments that scatter the floor of our week… and the multitude of issues in between.   But you know you are dealing with a fairly substantive issue when it starts with denial.

If you believe the experts, and I am careful in my acceptance of their arbitrary words,  the next could be anything from the following three … Anger, Bargaining, Depression…

So you say to yourself

This isn’t happening to me…

Then it could be anything from…

WHY THE HELL IS THIS HAPENNING TO ME?  ~ What do I have to do to make this stop happening to me? ~ (  usually the depression stage doesn’t have many words… but a lot of ‘bathrobe and slipper’ days ).

No expert agrees about the actual order of the three above…  but they agree that all three of them happen to one degree or another.

I just went through those four… the past month or so…   I know that it made my family and my friends uncomfortable..   I would tell them I was sorry… but it’s a process… isn’t it?   I did the anger.. I’m good at it…  I did the depression .. I know depression when it drapes itself on my shoulders,   I even did the bargaining .. Trying to find a way to lessen the sadness…  I have had the gift of closure…   I said the things I thought, and meant,  harsh as they were.. And when they were out of my mouth and sitting there in front of me.. I knew they were true.. They were how I feel.

It’s not a happy thing when a relationship dies.   But at least  there is a chance for something else down the road.. Maybe a friendship.  If there ever was one to begin with.     The mourning process of a relationship is interesting because there is another person to blame ( and that is interesting … even when half of the blame is yours ) … it can be ugly .. But so can birth…


And like every experience we have… there is a lesson that can be taken away, and good memories to be put in shoe boxes.

It starts in Denial, it reaches its close in Acceptance.