Obesa cantavit *

Day off… the first of two that regularly roll around. It seems like I haven’t had a real day off since before Christmas. Sure they have rolled around fairly regularly but there has always been something to do and those days melted away. Or I was sick and spent the time in bed so I’d be able to work.

But today, I got nuttin! No tasks that need to be completed and no e-mails to catch up on.
On the note of e-mails. I got a note today from and old friend from the wall sittin’ days. He had a first “date“.

I am so envious. It was a date… it didn’t end in sweaty grunty stupid actions… they flirted, talked, giggled. A second date is an the works.

It’s a common flaw these days… people hop in the sack, then the next day you are either uncomfortable and looking for the nearest window and your socks… or all of a sudden you are married and all things single fall by the wayside. There is a middle ground!!! Use the f cking middle ground .. And you know.. Another thing…

Umm no this isn’t a rant about dating

It a list

Of the people I would want if I was trapped in a zombie movie .

Me: I breathe fire and would add comic relief.

Angie: Every zombie movie needs a girl who will eventually take her shirt off (there are people who are hotter than angie in the world but when it comes to taking her shirt off it’s definitely worth being in the same room )

Nick: the other bouncer in the bar I work in. (he used to be in the gun business )

Da bastard John: bartender at the other bar… the good looking jerk.. (hey girls need eye candy too )

Mark: a “thor” of a man. Huge, blonde, a philosopher and a wood working king.

Misty: our bartender, for the record we’d never see misty nekkid but she would be in a shower at some point.

Smilin Dave and Alex: two regulars also at the bar they would also be comic relief as nothing fazes either of them (thc is sooo calming )

Patricia: the cute one who looks like a grade school teacher.

Sam: he’s my parents dog .. Sort of like a benji thing.

Of course the whole bar … but they die in the first 6 minutes.

The order we die
Dave: during the escape from the bar. His last words are “…”

So we end up in the old hotel (it’s old enough to be creepy )

Angie: eaten alive , she and john end up in a room for sex. When the zombies break in he “cherry cheesecakes” her and makes a break for it. (I will not explain what that is but it’s baddddddddddd)

Alex: he gets popped looking for snack foods… by dave.

Misty: freaks out and tries to escape to save her kid.

John: Does the “f ck this I’m not waiting to die here” thing and can’t get the car started.

Nick: runs out of ammunition and is last seen swinging, kicking and screaming

Me: the needed explosion is set off by me! (yaaaaa ivan!!!!!!!!)

The survivors
Patrica and Mark. Who have never met .. But you know that’s the way it works.. Oh and Sammie…but something is wrong with his eyes. They glow red.

Any surprises? , not really … but it’s a zombie movie.

I didn’t like shaun of the dead…

It’s be different if the cast was made of performers… the zombies would not stand a chance and as performers we of course have the ”how to survive a zombie movie” booklet

*the fat lady has sung