Laudant illa, sed ista legunt*

Right. The last post seems a bit harsh to leave until I make another entry. So… I will throw down, for your scrutiny, two things I have said in the past. The first is something I said at the end of every fire show. It’s called for lack of a better title “3 minutes”. The second is something I wrote at 3 o’clock in the morning (the day before ) for a midnight show at the Waterloo Buskers Festival last year ( 2006).It is called “f ck em” and was a fun piece to perform. Note, gentle reader, the subtle theme that runs through them both and think on it…

Criticism is welcomed.

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Three minutes:

every day the mass media , and by mass media I mean radio television movies magazines newspapers and even a good chunk of the internet try had to dictate to us three things
they dictate to us the "truth"
they dictate to us "justice"
they dictate to us what "beauty" is...

they lie

when they tell us the truth they only tell us half the truth
when they talk about justice they are only parroting what large corporations and the government want us to hear
and when they talk about beauty they just lie

when you read or hear something that is the truth .. go out and find the whole truth .. it's not that hard to do
when they talk about justice , get together with your communities and talk about what true justice is
and when they talk about beauty... turn a deaf ear
because this is what they want you to believe:

if you are to fat you need to be thin
if you are too thin you need to bulk up
if your skin is light it needs to be darker
if it's too dark it needs to be lightened
they want you to believe you need to change your hair, your eyes, your teeth, they want you to believe you need to buy their clothes and product to change who you are so you can fit into a tiny plastic mold that they create..

.and if we yield then we lose.

but it's easy to fight ... so simple
this is what I want you to do
tomorrow when you wake up ... I want you to look in the mirror... and find one thing about your self that you love.the next day I want you to look in the mirror and find a second thing about yourself that you love.keep this up every day for a year and you will have 365 things about yourself that you love (366 in a leap year )

...and you know, once you love that much about yourself then you'll find it natural to just love yourself ..
and once you love yourself then it's that much easier to turn around and love the person next to you ...

and this is why I risk my life breathing fire ..

so I can say this...

there’s not a problem in the world, not a single problem.. and the world is messed up... not a problem in the world that can not be solved simply by ... turning around and loving the person next to you....

now that’s my three minutes..
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F ck ‘em

Okay I spend a lot of time trying to get people to look at themselves, to like what they see.. ‘cause a lot of pain and suffering is caused by not liking yourself… right.. But there is .. In our little world a group of people who have no problem feeling good about themselves…. Not in the way I hope they will but in a vile a twisted way .. They feel good about themselves by making other people feel bad…

I call these rat f cks… “ Skinny people” not because they are thin .. f ck man! Some of my best friends are thin… no I call these rat f cks skinny people because they all follow one queen bitch … PARIS f ckING HILTON.. A girl who became famous because she partied hard and dressed in handkerchiefs.. Then did a bad porn tape and got a t.v. show where all she does is make fun of everything around her…
SKINNY PEOPLE SUCK ASS! And you know what ……… f ck ‘EM
Hey say it with me.. You’ll feel better

F ck ‘em

So the queen bitch has followers around the world.. They are training from elementary school all the way through to university .. Male and female … oh they existed before PARIS f ckING HILTON but they were not organized…. No queen to follow… but they are on the march …
You know what ….

f ck EM

How do you tell a skinny person .. Well it not too easy but here are the signs…
The girls wear a similar uniform… weird ugly skits ( usually in pinks blues and whites ) tiny tops … BIG DAMN sunglasses that make them look little like bugs.. Or maybe tight tight pants.. But the shoes man the f cking shoes are a dead give away …. This is what you do.. Google pictures of drag queens .. And look at their shoes.. If you see someone with no dick …who is wearing shoes with heels bigger than the Drag queens.. Well then she’s either a stripper …. Or a skinny girl..
You know what…..

f ck EM

Guys almost as simple .. Shirt collar up, they got a trucker hat but it’s not actually on their head the right f cking way …. Sunglasses at night ( wouldn’t Corey Hart be f cking proud ) 200 dollar sneakers ….. And a swagger .. Oh that swagger
You know what ………

f ck EM

I don’t mind them so much … but ninety percent of their self esteem comes from the fact that they make the rest of the world feel bad bout ourselves… because we don’t look like them .. because we don’t dress like them .. Because we are not them ….and they make fun of us because we are not them
You know what……

f ck EM

But we give them the power.. You know why we give them the power… it simple as simple as can be.. We give them the power because we want to

f ck EM

If we admit it we are half way there… and man sometimes I want to .. I mean really want to .. When I see the way they look .. The games they play ( you know the fake lesbo act in the bar ) a little tit showing a lot of leg an assssss like a peach I mean I just want to…

Ummm .. But it f cks with our own self worth.. We gotta break the f cking cycle …

They have the power now
But I have a plan to

f ck EM

Yeah by not f cking em.. Your damn right. take away that and they don’t got a leg to stand on….
So this is what we do …

All you single people make a little noise…

Right listen up you hormones on legs it starts with you .. This I what you need to do .. The next time you wanna go git sum … don’t have the list …

Guys don’t try to scoop up some high shoed short skirt tiny top big titted long hair fake finger nailed bimbo because she looks like a porn star.. Go out and find a girl who is a fun to hang around someone who you can talk to in the morning ( and listen f ckers stay till the morning ) see what it’s like to be with a girl who has more in common with you than she looks sorta like someone in the last 3 minute clip you downloaded last night…. Oh and for the love of god guys learn how to go down… a clitoris is not a myth .. Not a myth!!!!

And girls please I know I know that if you f ck a hockey player then you get a little extra credit in the estrogen pool or if his car is shiny your friends will die with jealousy ..but please do you really want to let some guy f ck you when in the end all he is really thinking about is either his hair , his car , or his drinking buddies ass…. ( or a weird combination of all three ) …. Really find a guy who can think, can talk, can laugh.. Can make you laugh….find a guy who will treat you the way you deserve…

Either way maybe you’ll find out that there is a whole world of f cking hot people .. Just look.. And f ck … not just one night or two .. I mean really f ck .. Like a week locked in the room with nothing but orange juice and a crate of condoms….. f ck until you have counted 13 different orgasms for her .. And one for him ( we’re guys we get one.. Just one type of orgasm .. And it f cking rocks )

And guys and girls both … isn’t it time we stopped trying to dress like they do on t.v. wouldn’t it be better to be really comfortable and really happy ..then really broke and really stylish?
Okay .. How does this f ck with the skinny people.. Well it’s simple .. If we don’t wanna f ck em we’ll find that we really don’t have a whole lot of use for them .. Then they can try to be hurtful .. But no one will care…… yep in the end
That will really

f ck em

Hell man if you don’t wanna f ck em
You can always ...

F ck ME!

*Some (writing) is praised, but other is read.