cotidie damnatur qui semper timet *

Oh man!
Sun Tzu wrote “The Art of War”, considered by a large percentage of the population as the definitive guide to negotiations both in life as well as business.

A friend of mine said that life is a dance in which we change partners over and over all the time.
Mr. Sun suggests it is confrontational, The other asks us to consider such interaction to be something co-operational.

Have you ever watched a Capoeira troupe? It’s a combination of martial arts and dance. It’s really pretty. Watch a good break dancing group and you will see elements of it, watch the free runners and you will see elements of it, if you watched Loki perform you saw elements of it.
Capoeira dancers wear white, pair off in a circle and weave and kick and lunge and never come in contact with each other. Their actions and reactions are controlled by the other dancer.
It is both confrontational and co-operational all to a groovy beat.

I spent time and effort learning “The Art of War”, spent time and effort learning to dance. Oh yeah , I can actually dance… not that I do it often.. But I can.

I watch capoeira and do practice some of the moves when I feel particularly goofy at home ( no furniture in the living room is a good thing ) .

What’s the connection.

Much of my life is confrontational , not hurtful as such. Just a lot of ideas bouncing off people and myself.

I don’t often choose to work with too many people in the manner of a dance, sometimes it just works that way.. As long as I’m leading.

Maybe it’s time I let someone else call the rhythm for a while.

I had a chance last night to … scratch an itch. I chose not to go because
a) I had to work all day …
b)it would have just been a booty call by the time I got into the city …
c) I really just want one girl right now, and the person in question was not her.

Last night after I decided not to go I found myself regretting the decision, after I slept I felt better about it.
And I continue to feel pretty good about the decision.

I know I would have regretted my actions if not immediately then a few days later. I learned that lesson years ago. The major reason for going was that lately I have not been so happy with the person who looks out of the mirror every day, I have been letting past problems cloud my own perception of who I am. The X did her best to tear me down, and man the walls crumbled. Since X I found myself thinking of another person . Oh and I’m pretty sure she is unaware I exist beyond the fact I sometimes block out her view of the room… I am someone to look around instead of look at. This can be a bummer. And by bummer I mean hard on the ego.

Then came the invitation, someone from my past appears nearby. Suggests that since she and I are both single ( a rare occurrence ) I should make the sojourn into the city and spend some time enjoying room service, her overly large tub, and the extremely comfortable bed.

No , I didn’t go.
No, I shouldn’t have, because it would have been the wrong way to show my appreciation for a good friendship. Because as I went to sleep I wouldn’t have been thinking about her. I would have been thinking of something else.
No, I don’t think in the end it would have helped either of us.

But it did make me think about who I am. Sometimes it takes another person to tell you what they see, what they want from you, what they find beautiful about you, for you to see it again… to see it fresh.


And though I have no plans to jump into bed with anyone, anytime soon. I’m not going to dismiss anyone’s attentions as long as they are sincere.
Generally I’m gonna listen to the rhythm dance on my own for a while and wait for the next person to come in .

*the man who is constantly in fear is every day condemned